I hate my thighs....but I'm working on it

I see how fat my thighs look here. 

I hate my thighs

I hate my thighs. I really shouldn't. I try not to.

They are good thighs. Thighs that can help me run two miles in under 20 minutes after not having trained at all. After not running for more than 10 years. Thighs that can do the splits, do a back walkover, get me through the toughest Pure Barre class.

Bridge kickover from last year

The thing is I've got muscular quads. Not the pencil thighs you see on all the models.

Not what my thighs look like

Even when I was in high school—when I was running twice a day and weighed 108 pounds, I still had quads. I still didn't have the thighs that looked good in shorty shorts.

I remember being in fifth grade—asking the other girls when I would be old enough to wear the short shorts that looked hot on other girls, that made me look like an overstuffed sausage.

My self-loathing went so far that for a few years I stopped wearing shorts completely. Because I hate the the way my thighs looked.

I was 28 or 29. At my highest weight. I saw a picture of me and my sister and stopped wearing shorts. I didn't want to look fat.

At 30, I started working out like a beast. And going the gym has really helped with my body confidence.

Just seeing other body types helped. Seeing muscular girls in shorts—and thinking they look powerful (not fat!) has helped me with this ridiculous demon.

Ever so slowly I've started wearing shorts again.

At first, I was worried about my leg's paleness, about a few spider veins.

But I looked around, and no one was grossed out because I didn't have model thighs (and never will).

I've purchased more shorts over the last year. I've started wearing them and not caring if my legs are pale.

The cut of shorts does help. Some will never work on my body type. I still can't do the super short shorts. But there are shorts out there for athletic girls. And sure, I might take selfie before heading out to see if the shorts work. Not all of them do.

I try not to look a picture and see how fat my thighs are. Focus on my smile or arms instead.

It's my demon—this thigh hatred. And I know I'm not alone.

For now, I will work on getting over it.

I see pictures of girls with too skinny thighs. At least I'm not that girl.

I've got real thighs. Unphotoshopped thighs. (Thigh gap, I laugh!)  Thighs that are strong and fast and can do amazing things.