Nerdy Girl's Guide to getting lost on a trail run

I used to love to run trails. Love. The nature. The way it cleared my head.

I'm trying to get back into running so I decide a Saturday morning trail run was exactly what I needed.

Let's be clear, I haven't done this in 15 years. I run the intramural trails with my husband on occasion, but it always kicks my butt.

I can run 3.5 miles inside no problem and need to increase my mileage, so I google nearby trails and decided to go to the State Botanical Garden of Georgia. They have PDFs of their trail maps. I look at them. And decided the white trail, at 3.22 miles was perfect. Finish in 27-30 minutes is my goal.

The trail is a 5-minute drive from my house and I get there when the garden first opens. I find the trail head no problem. I put my iPod and my iPhone in my sports bras pocket and go for a run. 7 minutes in and there are hills! Like hills at a 50 degree angle. I'm dying. I try to get to 10 minutes before I walk. And I'm clearing all of the spider webs as I run. And freaking out about spiders falling on me. (I think I only get bit once by a baby spider on my elbow.)

And the trail is narrow. Grasses are whipping my thighs as I whip through thickets. (I'm worrying about chiggers).

I'm running and worrying about snakes. And the trail is difficult. There are roots sticking out everywhere. There's rocks to avoid and sharp turns and steep angles.

And I realize that running a 3.2 mile trail BY MYSELF is probably a bad idea. I have my iPhone, so should I twist my ankle I could call for help (I'm somewhere on the white trail.) The trail runs by streams. I could fall in and short my iPhone and be stranded until someone comes nearby.

I see a deer. And aww....this is why I run trails. And it feels so good to speed down an uneven slope and know that I can gauge my stride exactly. And that I know what I'm doing and feel great.

And then there are the hills. I let myself walk some. This is about getting back into running shape.

The run goes on and on. And I know my time won't be great. I check my distance traveled on my iPhone, and its 2.8 miles. I've got another half mile in me so I run some more. And more and more.

The trail is very well marked. There are signs that say white trail constantly, and trees marked in white paint so you know you're going the right way. But when my GPS says 4.2 miles—I know something went wrong.

I ask Siri how to get to the parking lot. She asks me what parking lot. Maybe the IM fields parking lot. I tell her I'm lost. She's no help. Grr!!

At this point my goal is to just get out of here. And I find a map. I take one way. And double back. And finally I get back on the never-ending white trail. And I see the road that I drove in on! The trail seems to be leading away from the road, so screw this trail. I climb down a ledge to the road. I will not let this trail beat me. And I find my way back to my car. 4.6 miles and 50 minutes later. I wanted to increase my distance, but that's not quite what I wanted.

So maybe not my best idea. But I need to conquer this trail (the website describes this trail as "our longest trail and our most chal­leng­ing to hike." I want to go back so I can best it. And see if it is 3.2 or 5 miles long! Maybe I should walk it first.  Or go with a partner that can run ahead of me and clear the spiderwebs.

Celebrating after making my way back to civilization.

Gym brain

So I cannot write after I come back from the gym. I feel like working out flips some switch in my brain to revert to caveman mode and leave me incapable of conjugating verbs.

This always happens. I come back from the gym and have a free hour to write—only my brain is mush and all I can do is stare at my computer screen. Maybe I'll troll the Facebook feeds or watch hulu (we cancelled cable). But I can't manage anything productive with this free hour.

I googled it and apparently gym brain actually is a thing:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/my-brains-tired-scientists-looking-at-seratonin-find-you-may-well-be-right-8519939.html

Scientists have even studied it.

I'll take it as a good sign that I got a good workout. Thank you Laura and your slightly evil but effective gymnastics ab drill.

Favorite line of tonight's workout:
Context: I was whining about the ab drills. Hips on raised pads, with a partner (Grace) holding my feet down and were were doing holds (hold a swim position, go up and down, side to side obliques).

Grace: Think of all the clothes you can wash
Me: ???
Grace: on your wash board abs.
Me: Thanks, Grace.

I should add that Grace (who is a medical student and I bother her way too much about med school because I think it's fascinating and wish I were smart enough to go to med school) cheated on abs by using the trampoline do bounce back up. I thought it was a genius way to outsmart the evil ab drill. (She mostly did this to be funny, and it worked.)

So because my brain is mush, I will give you a gratuitous picture of me and the dog. He's always happy to see me when I come home from the gym.

Does gym brain happen to anyone else? Does cardio turn anyone stupid?